Change.

Change is a part of life.  I actually enjoy change. However, I’m sure you can agree, there is a level of anxiety that goes along with it.  There have been so many changes in my life over the past few years, that I’ve lost count.  I’ve experienced anger, worry, fear, but also joy.  If you don’t believe in a God who controls these things, you may not understand how I deal with these emotions.  More change is coming. As usual.

Our family is getting transferred out of the state where I have been for 35 years.  It will be a good and much needed change. But, here is where all of my support is, where my family is, where my friends are, church, my roots.  An added degree of anxiety is not knowing exactly where or when we will be going.  As a female, I want security, protection for my daughters, a home, financial peace and many things that just can’t be guaranteed.  I’ve grown so much since my experience losing every possession we owned and being 1 day away from homelessness.  My life, my worldview, and my family all changed in a flash.  I am not angry, not anymore.  I started running about that time.  In many ways, it saved my life.

As I ready myself to, well, get ready I guess, with no knowledge, no guarantees, no promises of success, I am strong and sturdy.  These traits were born out of hardship, like most other traits we receive.  God has protected since the day I was born, so I can say, Bring It.  I’m not afraid.

Running for 26 hours was kind of hard!  It was fun, but it was also a hardship, like life.  I can’t quit life until the end, so I suck it up and press forward.  My license plate reads NDRNCE.  Suck it up-ness for a lack of better term is what it means.  Down but not out, weary, but not dead.  I hate complaining.  I used to be a complainer as a kid.  Now, it’s a daily fight as I say NO, I will not lie down and die.  I don’t let others who are negative and complainers be close in my life.  I will go right down the dumps with them.

Meet me at the finish line, because I’m not quitting before I get there.

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One thought on “Change.

  1. Pingback: On polling day | emergingpolymath

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